Here it be:
What to say about Gatorade this year, my third of mulling over the Super Bowl Gatorade Shower?
I was stuck until I realized I had already written it.
I'm posting an excerpt from something I'm writing. The two characters are brewers. Aloysius St. James Spottisworth-Gack is leader of a craft brewery, Gack&Bacon Ltd, that has been in continuous existence in England since the reign of Queen Elizabeth I. It's the 60's, and Alabaster Prufrock Slore is the CEO of a very corporate brewery that's a lot bigger than Gack&Bacon Ltd. And a lot less interesting...
It comes to pass that they duke it out on Panorama, an uber-cool British news and commentary show (still on) that in those days was hosted by the British Walter Cronkite, a brilliant chap called Richard Dimbleby.
When you next see Gatorade's marketing, which makes water, sugar and some salts out to be The Fountain of Youth, come back and read this exchange between the corporate and the visceral:
Gack said, "In addition, with advertising, you have the issue of transparency.”
Dimbleby, intrigued: “Meaning what, precisely, Mr. Gack?”
“Well, most adverts present a, shall we say, idealized version of the product or service that they’re attempting to make us aware of.”
Slore, snippily: “That’s just putting one’s best foot forward.”
“Not when it crosses the line into being deceptive. Which so many ads do. They promise glitz and glamour where the product is only dross. Romance when the customer is only going to be let down by the banal. Powerful experience where there is really no experience at all, only a commodity.”
More on that here:
I do have my own ad in mind, by the way.
"Gatorade. Is it in you?"
"Hmmm let's see. Calories... Cavities...Cost... Nah. I'll have water and a banana instead."