So in January a fella, Fred, goes to a corporate dental office to have a partial denture made, knowing it's not-such-a-good-idea but desiring to save money.
They make a partial denture with a metal frame, acrylic bases and cheap acrylic teeth. The teeth start wearing down really fast, but Fred puts up with it, as that seems to be the only problem. Well, and a little rocking--it doesn't really fit very well. But he can talk and eat without spitting it out, so he puts up with it.
Plus, the corporate dental office is not well disposed to making adjustments. Seems, once they had his money, that was that.
And then December comes. Fred starts going to all kinds of parties--work, friends, family. There's an outing every night! Cocktails, wine, and all sorts of rich foods, which he doesn't normally eat.
And lo and behold--his partial denture starts turning black! The metal frame in particular stains pitch black. And the pink acrylic bases and the yellow acrylic teeth turn a pretty horrifying dark shade of brown as well.
Finally admitting his error to himself, Fred goes back to his old dentist. The one he knows. The one he trusts. The one who all his friends and family go to. The bespoke dentist.
Fred explains the corporate partial denture saga and the bespoke dentist examines it and shakes his head knowingly.
"Why is it so black, doc?"
"Well, it has to do with being made cheaply, with cheap materials, in a Chinese lab. The corporate guys ship 'em over there, to save money on the lab bill. They use questionable acrylics, with all kinds of impurities in them. And lord knows what's in the metal alloy. Toxic beryllium, probably. But tell me--has your diet changed recently?"
The fella thinks a moment. "Well, with all the parties and work functions I've been going to ever since Thanksgiving, I've been eating more rich foods than normal. But the one thing I'd say is the biggest change--I've been putting hollandaise sauce on everything. At all these parties I've been going to. At breakfast, lunch and dinner. I just can't seem to get enough of it!"
"Ah. Well, that's it then. It's the hollandaise sauce. If you're going to keep on eating it, no problem. We'll just make you a new partial denture at our great Pennsylvania lab, with the finest acrylics, high-end denture teeth, and a proper cobalt-chrome framework. It won't stain at all, no matter what you eat."
Fred smiles in relief. "Oh, doc, that'd be great. I can't go around with black gums and brown teeth! But tell me--why chrome?"
His bespoke dentist smiles in return.
"Because, Fred. There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."