Having a number of elderly relatives, I've spent a great deal of time in hospitals, rehabs, assisted living and nursing care facilities in the past few years. I've learned a few things about surviving, and even perhaps thriving, when old. Here are three.
(1) There is no need to ceaselessly grope for euphemisms for the word "old." It's not a pejorative word. It tells the truth.
If aging Boomers (I'm one now I suppose) are angered or afraid of the word "old," that's too bad. There is no fountain of youth. Human biology can be managed to a point but it cannot be cheated.
Dorian Grey has left the room.
I actually rather like the word "old." It's honest. It means what it means in a straightforward manner. It might even humble us a little. "Old" references our scars, of which we should be proud.
(2) The greatest arrows in an older person's quiver are charm and good cheer. Staff of hospitals and nursing homes have hard careers, and they love a ready smile or a word of thanks. It gives them energy with which to press on. Grousing, impatience, uppityiness and, especially, edging towards racial or ethnic slurs devastates their days, and does nothing to advance the cause of either party.
Many times I have thanked these caregivers for the attention they've given my loved one. I've asked them how they're doing. I've made sure to know their name, and I tell them mine. More than in any other industry I can think of, they appreciate these recognitions of their service and respond in kind.
(3) Dressing well changes everything.
Some independent living and assisted living places have a formal dining room. Jacket and tie required for men, fine dress for women. Some older people I know just generally go about looking more put together and elegant than ten of me.
Dressing well, even when there is no career to go to, has myriad beneficial effects. Posture is improved. Folks have more energy, more get-up-and-go. More confidence. There's something about facing the hard world out there with style and grace that's sure to give that world its comeuppance from time to time.
That's something, considering that eventually, the world wins and we lose. Each and every time.
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